Oh my goodness, thank you!! You’re very kind for saying that. :’) <3
If you’re someone who has experienced a lot of negativity in your life or perhaps one powerful, life altering event, just know that you aren’t weak if you choose to sort of wallow in the melancholy of it all or not choose to see the positive in everything. You are just as strong as those who do the opposite, you just haven’t realized it yet or maybe you do but are afraid to act or don’t recognize the power that you have. Everyone handles bad situations differently. Don’t let others shame you for dealing with it in your way.
I just want you to know that even if you can’t bring yourself to be, you deserve to be happy. You are strong, and you are proving that by surviving all of this. I support you, and I support anything that is going to help you be okay.
I’ve definitely handled the negative things in my life in all different ways, so don’t hesitate to talk to me if you need someone to talk to about coping with things. I can’t promise that I’ll be much help, but I care, and I’ll listen.
"Sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their illusions to be destroyed." — Lorde
I used to daydream about what it would be like
to make your eyes light up in the same way they do
when you’re talking about all of the things you love.
To make your voice grow louder, not with anger but
with excitement, feeling embarrassed once you realize
how loud you really are.
You were a sort of distraction, one that I didn’t ask for,
but there you were.
I used to romanticize the idea of you as if you
were a character in one of the books I couldn’t put down,
wishing that I could know you as no one else did.
I wanted to know what songs made you feel alive.
I wanted to know what you were like when you first wake
up in the morning, during that time when the world doesn’t quite exist yet and everything is quiet.
I wanted to know if you were aware of how beautiful
your brown eyes were when they glowed golden in the daylight.
I wanted to know what you thought about when you were
completely alone, left with nothing but that voice in the back of your cluttered mind.
I used to listen to you talk about the kind of person that
you would be happy to fall in love with.
She would make you laugh more than anyone else,
listen to what you had to say without a bit of selfishness.
She would give you space when you needed it,
but be willing to not leave your side when you didn’t.
You would be fascinated every time she spoke about
the things that you both believed, and what she believed on her own.
I used to wonder what it would be like to be that girl
until you admitted that I was, but not in the way that you wanted.
Not in the way that you wanted.
I was not what you wanted.
You couldn’t figure out a way to love me because there was too much of me.
I took up too much room.
You couldn’t seem to fathom a world in which you could
see me as beautiful, even if you always told me that those
who didn’t see me as such were foolish.
I used to imagine what it would be like to kiss you,
because I never had the pleasure of being kissed by
someone who was in love with everything that I was,
and I still haven’t.
You weren’t aware of just how beautiful you were,
but you didn’t see that I was either.
I wasn’t angry with you.
I am still not angry with you, even though
something tells me that I should be.
I only wanted you to realize that we both
deserve to take up space.
Hey internet. Sorry I’ve been so negative lately. I’m okay, I’m happy, I promise! <3 Thank you for caring about me, I love you more than I could ever explain.